My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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