I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
