She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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