I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
