dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
