I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
