whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
