you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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