I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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