Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
