I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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