You're completely useless in the revolution.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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