are you still at the devil's house?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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