Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
