need another drink. this is the easiest way
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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