How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just want to make out with him forever
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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