The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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