do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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