Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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