Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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