I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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