It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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