I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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