Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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