I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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