its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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