I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
