She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Ketchup is God's man juice
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
