I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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