White coat. Heels.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
