these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she smelled like a LAN party
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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