I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
