and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
