And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
