Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
