What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
