Nicole vs. Life
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
