I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
FUCK WHALES
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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