New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
