thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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