i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
