tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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