He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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