I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
