So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
