she was so not down for the gang bang
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
