did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
