The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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