Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
COCAINE IS GR8
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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