You just made me feel so damn special
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
